Law of Attraction, Life
I Feel You….
The things I write about on TheFearlessHustle are all about life, energy, hustle, driving your own life, and everything in between. TheFearlessHustle is life – and it is meant to be lived to the fullest.
But don’t think for once I live in a world where I don’t understand what life really its. I recently read a story about suicide rates in men. And while I know men and women both go through dark times – as a male and a father – the article resonated with me. I am here to say that I feel you.
I feel you.
You are not alone. That is the first thing you need to realize. No one is posting on instagram the shit they go through. I know it is easy to feel like you are the only one who is struggling when everyone else is living a glam bam life on social media. It’s all a lie. It is a highlight real. We all struggle. I’ve been there. We have all been there. And it’s time we start talking about it.
In 2012, I had my first ever panic/anxiety attack (not sure exactly). I wasn’t myself. I was abnormally stressed at this time in my life. I had my first big boy job, which gave me my first career stress. I was finishing my Master’s degree. I was recently married. We were starting to try for children. All great stuff, right? Yet couldn’t shake these feelings I was having – and I am not sure I could tell you what those feelings were. I did what most guys do – I tried coping with alcohol which only added to the stress. The stress got so bad, I quit my brand new job after only 3 mo – and I don’t even know why. I wrote my departing email to my boss and our CEO, hit send, and left the building – early. I don’t remember all of my drive home that day- in fact – I drove past my normal freeway exit down to Mission Bay in San Diego, parked in the parking lot for a bit (actually not sure how long) and then headed home. I was confused, anxious, and worried. The part I do remember in the parking lot was how I was going to lie to my wife that I was fired, instead of telling her I just quit my dream job and the job that was going to change the trajectory of our life because I was stressed. For the next few hours, my mind was fogged. I wasn’t myself.
As a father of 2 small boys (2 and 4 at the time of writing this), I still get frustrated on the daily. Most days I’d like to think I am a good father – but then there are those days where I feel the world is against me and can’t do anything right. I get frustrated and short with a 2-year-old who just wants to laugh and play with dad before school. But I lose my cool, send them off to school without a kiss or saying goodbye, and am brought to tears on my drive to work asking myself if I am doing enough as a dad – as a husband – as a human – to move the world forward. These boys future relies on what their father does/says/ acts in front of them. I know mine did. Am I enough? Am I where I should be? Can I be more?
I commute to the office every day (35 miles each way – 70 miles daily) and slave – call after call, meeting after meeting, deal after deal, trying to make ends meet in a world that seems to get more expensive by the day while I get poorer by the hour – and I am one of the lucky ones doing OK for myself. But I am not taking my kids to Hawaii. We don’t drive Range Rovers. Fuck – my boys haven’t flown in a plane yet. They need to see the walls of a childcare 5 days a week because mom and dad need to both work so we can provide the life we feel they deserve (and they soooo deserve it). At dinner every night, we share what we did during the day. Mom teaches future presidents, doctors, and other honorable mentions of our future by being a kindergarten teacher. Mason and Jaxson (my boys) learn, develop, and continue to amaze mom and dad in what they do. Dad? What does dad do? Emails. Dad does fucking emails – phone calls – meetings demonstrations – that’s it. Day in – day out. Grinding a non-glamorous life to try to give my kids the life they deserve. Every single day I think there has to be more to life than just working, paying bills, then dying. And there are the days I wonder how quickly the latter will come to end the endless grind.
I feel you.
And you feel me.
I don’t care about your situation – your income level – your ethnicity – your race – whatever. If this resonated with you – I feel you. I am there. We feel you. We are there. WE ALL ARE THERE. Does not matter if you are making 150k a year, or 30k. If you have no kids or 7 kids. If you are CEO or customer service rep. WE ALL ARE THERE. Everyone has struggled. Everyone has pain. Everyone has issues that go on inside their head that needs to be worked on. Every single person is there to a certain extent.
HEALTH is important. Physical, social, occupational, and mental. Just as being overweight is taxing on your body, stress and anxiety are tasking on your brain. If you don’t do something every day to battle the darkness, it will ultimately creep in little by little until eventually – like your physical health – something snaps.
I feel you…
I’ve snapped. But not to a degree that I couldn’t come back from. I know people very close to me who snapped more extreme than me – and made it through. I know people who have snapped, and will never be able to hug their children ever again.
I know it’s hard to deal with life – but life is a beautiful gift that once you can get through the darkness – it is a magically beautiful place to be – and I believe that with every ounce of being that is within me. The best thing I have done recently is connected with other fathers, husbands, men, humans, and got deep in the conversation. Talking about finance, marriage, fatherhood, occupations, the struggles they face – we face – and realized that the struggle is life. It’s beautiful. It truly is. Life is a beautiful struggle – a fearless hustle – and it is meant to be.
But the struggle gets pushed down. Instagram and Facebook are highlight reels – showing only the good – not the struggles. Families smiling, vacationing, riding bikes, swimming, late nights in the back yard. Trust me – I am one of those guys. But behind social media is life – and life can get to you if you are not careful.
I feel you…
And I am here for you. I don’t claim to have all the answers – but I understand the complexities that life brings – the ups and downs – the good and the bad. I am passionate about life and helping as many people as I can understand how precious and beautiful life is – and should be lived to the maximum.
Can I help you? No – sorry. You are the only one who can help yourself. But I feel you. I’ve been there. I can lend you 2 ears to listen, and 1 mouth to help you establish the routines needed to continue to fight to live this beautiful life. I may not have all the answers – but I am a damn good place to start if you don’t know where to go.
That is my offer. It stands for anyone who puts eyes on this.
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