Power of Conversation

I recently traveled to the very cold Kansas City, MO for a training class on how to give an effective presentation.

I thought I presented OK. But the things I learned in this class – MIND-BLOWING. It was all about frame, and openers, and emotions, and anchors – and I soaked up every second of it.

Well – most of it anyways.

The part that I always fade away on is when a sales guru says the way to connect with the audience is to treat them like they are human.

Uhh…yeah. Because they are.

We live in a world where the human aspect of living is quickly going by the wayside, so much so – we actually have to tell salespeople now to treat people like they are human. Like – for real big guy? That is the secret to a good presentation? How about that is the secret to human interaction. Like with other humans. 

Then I dropped a bomb on the group. I said, “we aren’t B2B sales or B2C sales, we need to be H2H – Human to human.”.

Everyone’s jaw dropped.

Now – I didn’t make that up, but I believe it. Want to be effective in sales? Want to have a better relationship with whoever you want? Want to be persuasive? Want to just be a good person? Be human. And treat all others like they are human.

That is the mind-blowing, jaw-dropping fact that this class was preaching.

Be Human. And treat all others like they are human.

You’re Welcome.

But before you say “well – yeah – duh” ask yourself if you do. Ask yourself if you truly treat people like a human being. A spiritual being that floats through the world with a beating heart. Someone who – whether you like it or not – is connected to you. Is connected to the world. Connected to everything.

Do you smile and say hi passing people on the sidewalk? Or are you nose down in your phone?

Do you call your mom or dad? Or do you send them a text?

Do you stop at a 4-way stop and politely wave the next person to go first? Or do you roll the stop flipping the bird at the guy honking at you for not fully stopping?

Do you come home pissed and stress at the day, only to pass the time in front of hours and hours of TV? Or do you read a good book, chat with friends, and spend time with those that you love?

Now I am not saying that you need to go back to the old times to be human, but if you spend a bit more time spending time actually talking and interacting with other humans, we may just be able to change this world yet.

Everyone has the greatest story to tell – you just have to find it.

We all stress about money. We all stress about jobs and bosses. We all stress as parents wondering if we are doing the right thing, or if our kids are going to be in cell block A once they turn 18. We all wish we worked out more and ate better – even if you eat clean and work out every day. We all have fears, and dreams, and desires. We all have wishes, and wants. We all have a passion in our soul that if tickled in the right way, will result in hours of the deepest conversations you can every wrap your hand around. We all get depressed. We have anxiety. Degrees are different, but it is there. We all have way too many thoughts running through our head.

We all are the same. Yet we don’t act like it. We don’t talk about money. We shove the stress way down. We smile at other parents like we know what we are doing (no one does). We all binge eat, and drink too much, yet hide it like a perfect perfectionist who can’t deviate. We let our fears consume our dreams and desires. Wishes and wants are just fluttering ideas that will never turn into action. We quiet down our passions in our soul thinking that we are the odd one if we let it out. We don’t talk about depression. Or anxiety. And worse – we watch those who suffer from severe bouts spiral out of control until all we are left is a Facebook post about someone taking their own life with a phone number to the suicide hotline. We never get a chance to get those thoughts out of the head.

But we can. It’s called talking.

It’s called being open.

It’s called putting down your fucking phone and get vulnerable. And not vulnerable as taking your coloring book to your safe space. Vulnerable as in truthful. Vulnerable as bearing your soul. Vulnerable as being a human.

And I am not talking telling the stranger you passed on the street your life story. I am saying when you are with your wife, put your phone down. When you hang out with your friends, no phones and ask serious questions (A great one is “what did you want to be as a grown-up when you were a kid). When you get home from work, take your family out for a walk, instead of turning on the TV. At night – talk to your husband in bed instead of being nose down in your iPhone.

These are the immediate things you can do. Longer-term ideas? Don’t be so closed off. That stranger walking down the road, that girl in the coffee shop, that old fart neighbor of yours who is the meanest old hag you have ever known – they have the greatest story you will ever hear. Work to get it out of them. That means talking. That means being nice. That means smiling. That means leaving your phone in your pocket. That means being human.

That means being human.

Be human.

This isn’t an overnight thing to do. This will take time. Hell – I am trying to work on it and feel I am failing miserably. But I try. I actually talked to the person next to me on the plane flying home as I wrote most of this. They work in real estate. They headed home to see his daughter who just moved to Dallas from Kansas City.

That was it. That is the extent of our conversation. And I will probably never see them ever again. But it was a win. Because I didn’t do my typical headphones in, music on, don’t make eye contact, closed-off approach to flying. I was open. Open to the person. Open to the conversation. Open to the opportunity. Open to being a human.

Open to being a human.

Be human.

Try this today. I don’t care when you are reading this. Be a human NOW. Right now. Do you know that person in your office that always seems depressed? Or the person who is always mad? Or the person no one talks to because they will talk to you for 10 minutes straight with no break? Go talk to them. Ask them a question. Listen to the 10-minute story of his kids again. And yes – it will be awkward at first. Yes – you probably will tone the guy out after 30 seconds and wonder why you are talking to him. But that is a start. That is how we be human again.

Be a human again.

Let’s all be human again.

Remember – everyone has the most amazing story you will ever hear – you just need to get it out of them.

And you do that by being a human.

Be human.